I REMEMBER...

I remember the days when i was taken from Lagos and dumped in a secondary school in far away Osun state. It was a crème school my dad said just before he picked up my admission letter. How can a unity school be a crème school, agreed it was a pretty new school but still it was a federal school. I had heard stories of how students especially juniors were beaten in such schools and i wasn’t going to be beaten so i planned to watch my back in school. We had a good “princi” that time so flogging wasn’t allowed but as soon as they changed her we began to see pepper.

It started in ss1, the class in high school where u are allowed to braid your hair and your pinafores were exchanged for skirts. We thought we had achieved some level of freedom and audacity, little did we know that our seniors had it coming especially for the newbies that thought they were all, i was in a certain purple house called violet house, with the most evil prefects especially the house captain; Grace A. She was rumoured to have been a man in her previous life, she was Athletic, no seriously athletic, she played all sort of sports that time and she was in the school relay team and all and she was UUUgggglly... Damn! Looked like a man and she was just the one my mum handed me over to in junior 1.

Anyways, it was a hard and fast rule that all ss1 girls would get toilets as their daily morning chores. (Anyone that went to a pro unitate school should agree with me), so the day i was assigned my toilet i wasn’t surprised. We were 4 girls to handle 3 toilets and 3 bathrooms. I quickly chose my T and got a padlock to keep it closed from people who couldn’t control their bowels. One of us want quite lucky cos he toilet door was missing so we all agreed to let students use hers and then we would take turns washing it.

Every Saturday morning we had inspection, these was when princi and her cohorts would come into our space and decide if we kept it clean, any complain forthwith would attract severe punishment after inspection.

Unfortunately there was no water that period so we had to be extra miserly with water when we were washing and that led our fat /insanely obese Vice principal Admin to say “Can anyone see that smell coming from the toilet” we quickly disagreed saying we only perceived it, which got killer looks from grace A. That meant only one thing. We were in for it. So immediately they left our U-shaped hostel, the four of us were ordered to kneel down very close to each other.

Grace told us to pick a partner, i chose a short gal Bunmi, which i am grateful i did, i was beginning to get intrigued but suddenly grace told us to start knocking ourselves and that whoever didn’t knock someone would be in trouble. Just imagine four people scrambling on their knees trying to knock each other’s head and at the same time trying to avoid getting knocked. It was hilarious by considerably painful, after that experience we were extra careful to waste water even when there was none. The next term we were relieved of our toilet duties but as if that wasn’t enough encounter with grace, i had another one memorable one.

After lunch was siesta, lunch was tiny, old gal was trying to rush to the dorm before siesta so i could soak before siesta as eating wasn’t allowed at that time. Unfortunately i didn’t make it so the soaking had to wait till after siesta. As i got up rushed to take a shower, it was past 4 and time for prep,i wanted to soak s badly and some ass of a prefect was banging the dorm gate. After 6 bangs, it was lockdown, that day jazzy didn’t send her, i wanted to take my Ijebu garri so bad that i was willing to be locked inside.
I was locked with other gals but suddenly the gate swung open and madam grace was inside the hostel threatening fire and brime to whoever was still in the dorm. I was dressed, carrying my already soaked cup and was rushing out when grace saw me and held me, gave me the worst slap till date and poured the garri on my head, emptied the whole cup that is, and ordered me to leave the dorm. I have not really like garri since then and how could i forget when they finally left and we were seniors. It felt damn good.

We had this window that we called “Jumbosco”, actually any window could be called that but it had to have an opening that we could use to get in and out of dorm at odd times. There was always a chair at the entrance to allow us stepping into the dorm, and u can imagine how many jumbosco’s were sealed and many more opened. Or the time that we would cook sumptuous meals in the dorm and when we were caught, my house produced only one spoilt ring boiler, while other houses sold out with tubers of yam, various types of hot plates and of course quick cooks like noodles and rice.

Violet house was beaten and we were called cultists for cooperating amongst ourselves, just a day before our WAEC maths paper, we were detained in front of princi’s house for hours. It was fun, pure undiluted fun. Fun that doesn’t come easy these days especially with the stress of Lagos life and work... Still haven’t gotten one yet so if u need to hire a smart fine looking sista, u can reach me. All i want sometimes is to relive some of those experiences, not just the punishment part... sometimes i remember...I really do.

Happy nu year

Its been a bit but i just had to drop the happy new year line. things will def get better in 2009. love u guys.A

SHE CAUGHT ME KISSING HIM!!!

Ok, sorry ve been away for a bit, i guess am in the process of changing jobs and that means that i am not hooked to the internet 24/7 these days, and well i ve just been thoroughly lazy to get to a cafe. I ve tried to update a couple of times but ve not been able to post anything to my blog. Now the last thing i tried to blog about was my first love. My very first puppy love.

Good and bad news; he s back from wherever and wants a comeback. The cutie with the very hot looking face and body. Hmm why did we break up at first? I guess we were too young and his dad didn’t want a girl after his hot son!

The comeback: Lad calls me up one day and asks me what i am doing and if we can spend the day together catching up on old times, i agreed and well we met at a fast food place cos it was pouring cats and dogs. After almost 4 hours of reliving what i cal puppy love, i invite him to my place.. Hmm rewind i mean my family house! Now considering the fact that my parents don’t think am of the age where guys should come see me unchaperoned, i did a big disfavour to myself.

We got home, hung out thankfully mini me was home so we were restricted to just gisting but i could see it in his eyes that he wanted more... Then moms came back and she was like who owns the large pair of shoes at the door and i told her to meet him herself. Incidentally she liked him and even commissioned him to help out mini mi with his physics assignment. And that was how he stole my moms heart, mini mi’s mind and well a bit of me. When it was time to leave i felt like going home with him but then i remembered that C would chop off my ears, so as i bade him goodnight he gently took me in his arms and kissed me! Wao! This was the timid teenager that couldn’t even kiss a wall through the time we dated, now he was frenching like crazy!

We agreed to see 2 days after that and we did, of course at my place and this time, moms came home extra early from work, she made me prepare food for him and she went upstairs. Meanwhile i was tired of struggling for attention with family so i dragged Lad outside and he shocked me by saying he loved me, and that he had never stopped and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me! Now that was crazy scary. This was someone that i had lost contact with for over 4years although we saw each other at various times but from distances.

Before i could say much, he kissed me again and well i did kiss back, he was a terrific kisser! Geez i hope that s not cheating on C sha? And we continued lip biting for another 30 something minutes before i heard my name! It was moms looking right over us, catching us red handed, i d never been that embarrassed before but i guess she should realise its time to grow up! Now frenching a man right in my father’s compound has erased the faint memory of my farting once during am interview..... Yeah crazy gist for later.. i feel the laziness kicking in again so i ll just say Au revoir

MY COUSIN; MY LOVER

MY COUSIN; MY LOVER

Hi people, its been a while I blogged, well lets say the weather got the better part of me and even as I seat back and use office time to blog, I have a lump of tissue in my right nostrils stuffed with ROB. Actifed at the other side of my laptop and an empty bottle of Diet coke! So much for the trying to lose weight therapy.

Anyways to the koko of the tori, I have a cousin get married some three weeks ago at the sleepy town of Ilesha in Osun state. He saw a beautiful Yoruba gal and decided she was the one, anyways my family, extended and invited drove, flew and hurried down to the gals father’s house for the trad wedding the day b4 and the white wedding day after. Unfortunately I was chosen to be a maid of honor and it wasn’t funny considering that I didn’t know the bride too well, I guess it was just as family concerns and all that.

Now since family had come from far and wide, I met up with relatives and cousins that I had either not met or hadn’t seen in ages. Now there were family introducing themselves and I was just running from place to place trying to stick with people I knew, when an uncle called me, he was talking to another aunty and was incidentally asking after my moms.

He asked who I was and when I told him I was Aunty Grace’s daughter; he had his mouth open and called almost everyone s attention to me with what dropped from his alcohol reeking mouth

“Ha! Ada bu onwo” (This is Ada oh!) So you are grace s daughter and you are so fine and big, and he turned to everyone watching and said that he we should all have a family reunion so that he doesn’t see me on the road next time and try and toast me!

Anyways that was how I was introduced to everyone including a cute cousin. When Collins and I were introduced as cousins, I didn’t notice much of him, especially since, I was searching around for people I knew and my luggage, so it wouldn’t et stolen. But the very next day at the church grounds I noticed that he was in the grooms train 2 (is there anything like grooms train)

Anyways, the service dragged on forever and by that time, I was the only maid of honor that was bored, the rest were really into the service as if learning the procedure of the ceremony like theirs was next week. I turned back and started gisting with this cute cousin of mine. I found out that he’s a second cousin and well, we sorta bonded. Thru out the recap, we were together till he had to travel back to Lagos. I didn’t know my moms eyes were on me.

Fast forward to Lagos, it started with wanting to keep in touch with each other and that was how we started chatting on phone everyday! I mean not less than 4 times a day till date that is. Now everyone calls him my cousin lover. Truth is I love him. Very deeply.

Now don’t get ur mouth all running about incest, cos I asked a lot of people and they are not really concerned about how were related cos it’s pretty distant. Come-on! Do you really think I d date my cousin?

I love him like a bro, he s my bestest cousin, we could chat for hours on end and that s all. I have no plans to take anything further and that’s that. Besides he has a gal that he’s serious about and I plan to love her 2. But check I ll be home alone for 2 weeks as the minister is going to visit Director @ Asaba this weekend and he s volunteering to keep me company and go to work from my home. Do y’all thin =k it’s a bad idea, as for me any company is ok oh! What is this, my phone’s ringing and yeah it’s him…… gotta go. 1 love

Thanks 2 all those that encouraged me on my verge of a break, am back on track and so is my boy!!! I hope!

First day @ school

Hiya people, its been a while, but first happy new month and many things, well let see what can we blog about, ok seat back......

She walks in innocently dragging her box of clothes with her moms in tow and an uncle who accompained them driving rickety peugeout 504, one that looked like it barely made it out of the civil war in naija, she promised never to enter that car again, anyways she didnt have a choice, her father a Director in an apex bank was too busy to bring her down and so he assigned his younger brother who looked like diabetes had taken the best part of his life and her mon, sweet mom.

Stepping into the potter's lodge at the university, she was met with gazes of possibly returning students , hugging friends and obviously new students who clutched their bags and spoke tru their noises, everyone wanted to claim aje bota ater all it was a private university. She quickly took a deep breathe and headed for the potter without wasting time, He assigned her a make shift room for the night as her fees had not been paid.

There and then frienships and bonds that that till today have lasted the test of time were formed, a thin swrany looking girl, an almost baby fat girl, 2 sisters and another slept in that room. The first step of friendship was extended when they all had to bath that night after their long trips from everywhere, lagos, Warri, PH. It was a lucky day as one of them was almost beaten by a snake, what a welcome u know.

And today as i seat in my office years after am grateful for life, for love, for friendship and that the snake didnt bite me. My love to my friends the ones i spent 4 years loving, hating reading and fighting with, Nimota, Kemi, Yemi, Helen, i love u guys. What a wonderful life my first day at school, Does anyone feel nostalgic about their own first day. u could share u rs u know. Am waiting. Catch ya people.

Pictures you wont forget

Yello, peeps hope u ve been having a splendid week so far, might hasn’t been too off the mark, ve been crazy busy at work, Trust me working in a social and media marketing and networking coy isn’t small play, yeah its fun sometimes especially when u re in content and all but all together its crazy work. Its basically social networking like face book only its a Nigerian concept, its called Legwork.

Anyways so i was sitting at my desk designing the newsletter when i came across some crazy pictures that almost made me fall from my seat and i said i d be damned if i don't share this with everyone so have fun laughing and do say what you think.

Wait for you turn boys












Cute baby

















Hmmmm.....















Dont do it please.

Ha!!!












Am wearing my pants....Lol


















No disturbance please am reading














Boil me ... Hmm very portable




American Baby Idol

Deception

Hi blogsville people,

Being itching to come here and talk but work has taken the greater part of my life ds days, so today it’s not like there s nothing to do, tanks to my server that is down, I am free to gist, till it gets fixed. Now why exactly do you think married men pursue single gals? That’s a question I ve begun to ask my self, they are married aren’t they and no one held a gun to their asses to get married so why are they never content. Or is it the strange act of succeeding in deception that dis guys love. Could it be the joy of conquering a new conquest?

I ve been thinking about this for a very long time becos recently yours truly has for a while now acquired a married man who constantly breaths down my neck, promising heaven and more heavens, and the funny part is that, this man is so smooth that he makes the toasting of a young man sound like a joke.

It started one cool afternoon at Anthony village in lag, when I was walking on the road with a gal friend to get to an ATM, because of the long weekend coming I had to get money to spend, we were as usually gisting about improving our careers and when we would start our MBA s when this Passat a 2008/7 model drives up and stops by us, funny I just saw the car pass by a minute ago, so the driver had probably seen something fascinating and revised.

Quickly I entered shut up mode and the dude winds down his glass and goes like

Hi, I know you from somewhere don’t I? In my mind (ol skool pickup lines)

My friend and I exchange looks and I go like Nope, ok the kind gentleman offers us a ride to the GTB bank in Anthony, I refused, but in a quick flash I felt my friend drag me into the car, and we left.

This guy kept questioning me like he knew me from somewhere was going on about, me being a doctor, in my head am going when did I do 6 years in school plus house job and didn’t know it. If a man I barely know is claiming that am a doctor, then so be it. After all the long talk sha, old man begins to toast me, totally ignoring my friend. Ha All ds was like in 7 mins oh, he asked to take me out to dinner, and I totally refused, a man with a golden band running his mouth anyhow.

Ok, he asks for my number, my anxious friend quickly gives it to him, telling me later we could chop from the guy. I quickly reminded her of my first encounter with a married man, where his wife wanted to embrace me (another gist for anoda day) but she went like if the guy messes up, u step back.

The guy has simply not failed to disturb moi, as he calls me every time pleading “jay, lets do this, pls see me, pls do this and that with me and I have refused to do all, now this is someone that is a personal friend to Ex presido baba Ota, and rubs shoulders with strong men in Naija, so what wld he be wanting with me. Plain cute moi ( no hype)

Now his music has changed, he wants to impress me badly, dare I say that if he wasn’t married I would have been tempted but this man, shamefully wants to thrill me , he calls me up on day and goes like “ baby, pls I ve begged you, I want you as a friend cant you see”, You know you would be stupid to think that I don’t want you in my bed but if friendship means more to us then, I ll forget abt that side” and am like dude what do u think, that I am a 2 year old.

Even if I was dat young I wouldn’t be foolish to fool around such. So he says he s giving me a blank Cheque, what ever I want I should tell him, a trip to France or Dubai for shopping anything I wanted, just dat I d have to give him 2 weeks notice, maybe to lie to his pharmacist wife and 3 lovely kids. To say the truth, I was impressed but definitely not to the state of loosing my sanity.

So am wondering, when they ever give up, why don’t they ever, maybe till they win the battle, as for Andy this one he aint winning…….

Pic from randyubong.